Where Are All the Children?
When my father-in-law talks about the street he grew up on you want to be able to travel back in time and join in. There were 87 kids between the first 12 houses on either side. A mere five to six decades ago afternoons were inundated with neighbor kids and outside play. Today it's all too easy to be overrun with Netflix and structured after-school activities.
Long before my husband and I started a family of our own we noticed that every time we drove past a play set in a yard we never saw a child on one. Not once. The catalogs show them teaming with kids but the ones in real life sit like little ghost towns. The impetus for the 1000 Hours Outside challenge to begin with was because we spent thousands of hours over the course of a few years in the local woods and never ran into another child. Sometimes my mom would join us on our adventures and the thing she asked most was, "Where are all the children?"
Change is interesting. Like the story of the frog that slowly gets boiled in a pot of water as the heat increases incrementally, gradual change can often go unnoticed. But this is monumental change. It is a completely different approach to childhood and it has happened quickly. The shift from hours of unstructured activities and free play outside to hours of screens and adult-directed extracurriculars represents a central piece of the childhood development puzzle that was accidentally discarded and then thrown away.
Certainly this didn't happen on purpose. All parents want the best for their kids but sometimes the voices that ring the loudest are misguided. You see, there has been a seismic shift in the parenting practices prior to the 70s and 80s to the parenting practices of today. Whereas parents mere decades ago were content with hours upon hours of neighborhood play, parenting today comes with compelling pressure to enroll in extracurriculars and there is almost no neighborhood play at all. There is the Little Kickers soccer program, the infant art class, and the Foundations class at Kindermusik geared for birth to 18 months. Don't forget about MOMS club, swim lessons, the weekly library program, and then a year of two of preschool.
The thing is, almost every type of extracurricular activity holds merit. Consider the message from Kindermusik about enrolling in their Foundations class:
"Make baby’s first class musical! Our Foundations classes offer a sensory-rich yet caring and gentle environment where infants can explore and react to new sounds, sensations, and objects. Shared activities for babies and their caregivers provide the opportunity to strengthen your connection with your child through joyful music-making experiences."
Aren't these the things we want and need for our babies?! Exploring and reacting to new sounds, sensations, and objects seems completely worthwhile! Each activity touts its benefits to the parents of young kids and the benefits are legit. The instructors of these classes aren't trying to pull a fast one.
The issue here stems from the opportunity costs. Sometimes we look at children as mini-adults and forget that their own, unique way of developing is worthy. With each bit of enrollment, we lose some child-directed time. It's hard to justify "just playing" when there are all these glistening opportunities out there.
Where are all the children? They are inside. They are at classes participating in adult-directed activities. They are in front of screens. And this misguided, though well-intentioned, approach to parenting has left us with swaths of children who are missing key components of development and who aren't ready for seat work come school age.
What's a parent to do? The first component is to educate yourself. Have a few books on the shelf that help remind you not to succumb to the busyness. Run in circles where the other parents encourage you to protect your schedule. Rub shoulders with a few pediatric occupational therapists who will loudly sing the praises of free play outside.
The second component is to build down time and free play (including some in nature) into your life. Write it on the calendar just like you would any other after-school activity. Form a small nature club that meets once a month or join an already existing one through Hike it Baby or Wild & Free. When the whole neighborhood is out running around, it's easy to go along. But when you are one of the only ones who hasn't signed up for a sport, and instrument lessons, and Boy Scouts, and AWANA it might start to feel like this different childhood you are designing is ill-informed.
We think that if you are on a path and that path is outside then you are probably on the right track. Maybe the next time we are on a hike we will run into you!
