75% of the Time We Spend With Our Kids in Our Lifetime Will Be Spent​By Age 12

Every year at the start of the summer vacation I see all sorts of posts about the 18 summers we get with our kids. The intention of these posts is exactly the same as mine. They are a reminder that we need to fight to slow down and to simplify. We need to pray for perspective on the days that drag on. We need to put down the screens and connect. 

While our intentions may be the same I fully disagree with the number. Maybe those who write articles about the 18 summers with our kids still have only little ones at home. Maybe they have forgotten the summers when they turned 15 and then 16 and were able to drive and have jobs. There is a significant developmental shift that happens during childhood around age 12 (occasionally earlier) and with that often comes a change in family dynamics. Summers begin to have a different look and then eventually parents and siblings become more of a background object, a less integral piece of the puzzle. In fact, 75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12.

Don't get me wrong. Growing up is a good thing, something to be celebrated. Ultimately we want our kids to take on the challenges of the real world and they begin to do this in stages. Drivers training. First jobs. Dating. What all of this means is that  it's highly unlikely that any of us will get 18 endless summers with our kids. Maybe we will get 13 or 14 if we are fortunate. Our time truly is limited.

Outside experiences help us create lasting memories and they help me remain present throughout the summer. Our family aims to have at least 20 hours in nature each week during the summer. We spread this out over several days and when the weather is nice we often get a lot more than 20 hours. Scheduling in our outdoor time each week helps ensure that all of our needs are met. The kids are able to get their energy out, we are able to bond as a family, and I don't wish away the summer weeks. When kids are outside for lengthy periods of time they become engaged, contemplative, calm and happy. In other words, they don't drive you bonkers! If you have kids that are under 12 remember that this is the main bulk of time you will get with them over your lifetime. Have some goals, maybe a bucket list, and be sure to make the best of the time you have!