Episode 177 with John Lovell
Crack a Book and Put Down Your Stupid Phone
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177 JOHN LOVELL
Ginny Yurich Welcome to the 1000 Hours Outside podcast. My name is Ginny Yurich. I'm the founder of 1000 Hours Outside, and I have a new friend with us today, one that I actually got to meet earlier this year. John Lovell. Welcome.
John Lovell Thanks for having me on. It was great meeting you down in Florida at the homeschool convention. So that was a great time.
Ginny Yurich It was awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Well, my husband Josh was so excited when he found out that you were coming. It was like a huge deal over here and then got to meet your wife, got to meet your boys and got to speak in person, which was fantastic. Such an awesome message I sat in on. So really cool to meet in person and have a random pizza dinner by the pool.
John Lovell That was fun. That was fun.
Ginny Yurich Yeah. And I think Rebecca is coming too. While the free conference with some friends here in the fall. So excited to see her again and just finished reading your fantastic new work The Warrior poet way. Congrats.
John Lovell Thank you. It's been a labor of love. It's been a couple of years in the making, so I flip back through some of it, just checking in. I'm like, when I was 39, I'm like, Well, I'm 41 now, and then I've got stories. So it's been quite a process. But finally it is here. So very good.
Ginny Yurich It is a long process for sure, and it's just a fantastic book. It's written, I think, for the husband, for the man, for the father. But I got a lot out of it as a mother and just as a person, a book about bravery and a book about parenting. So it's a fantastic one. Just launched this week. So huge congrats. And then you have all sorts of stuff YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter courses that people can take a whole media will tell us, tell us all the things.
John Lovell But you just knocked out a bunch. And we also have a streaming service so that we have content that's specially there. So folks are interested of like, I want to be able to protect my loved ones, my little guys, you know, well, we've got pistol courses and so it is the best place on the internet to be able to tune in and have a real good guide into how to get into firearms and how to gain some just general safety knowledge and ease into that pool. And then you can really amp it up with pistol two and pixel three classes and we get into some pretty crazy stuff later on. But it's a perfect place to really get some good training. You know, you pick at YouTube, we have a lot out on YouTube as well, and that's free open source and it's good to kind of bait the hook. You'll get a lot of good stuff, but not in the nice, lengthier progression that make sure nothing gets left out and nothing's missing. So all kinds of resources there.
Ginny Yurich So people can find the Warrior Poets Society and you have these on demand training courses too. So lots to look for. And the book just came out. If people want to find it, the best place to go is the warrior poet way dot com. And it's a great one for your husband. It's a great one for your older sons. We're starting to give them out as shower gifts. So bridal shower, give it to the fiancee, the husband to be. So we've got some friends that we're giving books out to and it's been awesome. So it's an interesting story that it's just transition from being a college partier to becoming in the Ranger battalion. So can you just tell us that's a really big transition. You're doing a year of college and then your life completely shifted. So I'm sure people would love to hear about how and why that happened. I mean, and here you are now with all of these things that would not have happened had you stayed probably in that college track.
John Lovell My life has been a string of wild swings and an extreme transition. So I mean, from a wild kid who was into all the wrong stuff and then kind of wrestling focused me out. And then I went to college and majored in fraternity and I was nuts again. And then I went into special operations. And that definitely had some changes in the special operations. I met Jesus right away, and so that was a far bigger change than actually just going from college to military fault. Far bigger change happened right there. Conversion was a violent conversion that I go into in my book, and then from there we get back, I leave the military, I go into the workplace and then fold up shop and head to the foreign mission field for four years with my wife. And we come back and we're in the training world and then Warrior Poets Society. So it's just some really, really big, very different kind of stuff of no career counselor could have helped me sketch that out, you know.
Ginny Yurich Hey, do you want to be a garbage man or a teacher? I mean, I remember sitting I do remember sitting in with those high school counselors and looking back, it was very it was a very small box. Like, I wish in retrospect, I would have known all the different types of careers there could be out there and obviously can't know. As technology changes, some new things pop up, but you definitely get a very small slice in those meetings. And I realized that, hey, there's a whole world out here of things that you can do. So I love. To hear a little bit more about the Ranger battalion, because you said that basic training was a breeze. You felt like it was kind of theatrical. You feel like, I know what's going on. And then you say Ranger training was not the same. You say it was, for lack of a better word, a horrifying.
John Lovell Yeah. Yeah. And I don't want to disparage anyone's experience who's been to infantry, basic training in it and that stuff, because it is hard. It just I was pretty well equipped for it, and I'd been through some pretty tough suffering before. And so I watched dudes by my left and right really struggle and really struggle. Airborne school was a struggle, but for a different reason. It's not because it was really hard. It's because that it was just maddening. Like everyone walked around in Airborne Airborne for weeks and then you just jump out of an airplane a few times. And I'm like, all that weeks to learn how gravity works. If like, if you jump out gravity, you know, does its thing parachute open. But if someone changed the word airborne to me one more time, I was going to put my fist through their face. So it was different for a different reasons. Right. But Ranger Battalion was different. That was hard. That was really hard. And the hardest thing is getting to Ranger Battalion. Staying there. Getting there is difficult. Staying there is very hard. And so it would be yeah, sometimes you just feel like you're hanging on by your fingernails.
Ginny Yurich But yeah, almost feels like you might not make it. You told the story in there about the Skittles. You have really good stories in this book.
John Lovell Thank you.
Ginny Yurich Thank you. So can you tell us a little bit about the Skittles story?
John Lovell So it's so funny. I'm in the tactical world. I have all kinds of like videos and courses that revolve around cool kids and body armor and gear. And so sometimes I'm trying to help folks, husbands, every dude watching this, every gal that's married to a dude, he wants body armor in multicam with black balaclavas and cool guns. And you're like, Oh, not my husband. I'm like, Yes, your husband. We never really grew up ladies. We never really grew up. But I point out that you can be all kitted up for war, but real soldiers, no secret of like it's not all about magazines and all this stuff. It's like you're going to want some water and some comfort food, you know, when things get really, really miserable. Skittles were my just they were my morale boost. And so I always had Skittles on me whenever I was in full kit or commode out ready for a war. And even when I'm fighting in war, you're not going to find me without Skittles on me. So that was a little morale food. But there was one night we were doing an airfield seizure. Then I got hypothermia and so my hands stopped working and so I couldn't open the pack of Skittles that I had. So life was miserable. I really did think I was going to die. And so my prayers changed from Lord save me to the Lord, here I come. And so I really did think I was dying in that night, but I was trying to get the Skittles up and on point, and I didn't have the strength of hands, you know, because of the numbness to even hold the Skittles so that I could tear it with my teeth. And so finally, after an arduous process, I did get the Skittles open. And so that's probably why I'm alive today, is Skittles.
Ginny Yurich Is is great. I mean, these are great stories. And you can't even really imagine yourself in those positions down in the water for X amount of time for so long and then longer. And sometimes, I mean, that's really a trick that we use for our kids. When we would hike when they were little, I'd always have a little bit of something that would kind of keep them going. So it's good for parents, it's good for warriors. And you start this book, you know, with your story, but really you weave throughout the whole thing childhood from front to back. You talk about your childhood, your kids childhood and the start, and it comes up sometimes in our Facebook group of young boys running through the woods and playing war and playing soldiers and all of the types of things that they play. Can you just talk about childhood and why this time Outside for Kids is free time this free play, why it's so important for them to start to build who they are?
John Lovell I realized that it was important for little boys to go play in the woods and be wild and free, you know, a long time ago. But it's amazing each day of thinking about it and seeing it in action. It impressed upon me just how critical it is. It's not a little important. It's absolutely quintessential for the development of young men. Government schools do the exact opposite in a close game into a box and you're sitting at a desk and you tell them to sit still for hours and it's doing something far worse than having them act out. It's actually killing their masculine spirit. Men are supposed to grow up to be leaders and bold and brave and adventurous they're supposed to find new. Whether that's in the business realm or problem solving. They need grit. They need to be uncomfortable and get their hands dirty. And these are the life skills that are wildly more important than anything that that teacher from the government school is going to pass on to them in a classroom. It just is is it's the character development stuff and it's developing a strong, vibrant masculinity, it's fostering creativity. And that's the stuff that really needs the development more than memorizing whatever this Marxist institution wants to cram down their throat as they systematically destroy the child's love of learning. So.
Ginny Yurich Wow, that's great. I love it. I mean, here's the thing. There's something to be said for people who just tell it like it is, isn't there? Those are my favorite books. The books that have stuck with me the most are the ones where they come out and tell it like it is. Peter Gray says in his book, I don't know if you read it. It's called Free to Learn. He says school is prison, but no one will say it out loud. Everyone knows it, but no one is willing to say it out loud.
John Lovell Or thank you for that.
Ginny Yurich That's right. In his book. And I think we need that. We need those bold words. And these kids are just more and more their days are being co-opted. So you spend your childhood roaming. Right. Tell us about yours.
John Lovell Yeah. So thank you for that, Jenny. I appreciate it. I did not set out to write a pretty book. I wrote out to make a powerful one. So I pulled no punches. I realized, oh, boy, they've been canceling me for ages now of like, find me on all the social media. Good luck. They hate me. They bury me. The shadow banned me. I don't care anymore. I'm so sick of being pushed around and bullied then I love my kids too much and I love my country and I am not self-censoring anymore. Cancel me if you want, but I'm going to keep speaking the truth and.
Ginny Yurich It doesn't work. Can we say that it doesn't work? Because I've been through the same thing. And as our children are getting older, I have been more impressed about the world that they're entering. And what can I do to play a part in that? So I think that someone has to pave the way for our kids, and I think that's on us. That's a tall order, but I want to say that it does not work. People try and tear you down. They send messages. We have the same thing, same messages. She had this person on her podcast and that person's been on this podcast and that podcast believes this and so on. I mean, it's the whole thing. It's whatever they can find, but it does not work.
John Lovell Isn't that funny? I think canceling someone only works if that person tacitly accepts the cancellation. You know, if instead you get on this next day doing your content creation and be like, Hey, guess what? Hey, guys, I'm back. Yeah, Screw never sayers, I'm back. And so, yeah, that's fantastic.
Ginny Yurich But I want to encourage people that because you do not have to be afraid. And your book also talks about culture and being a part of society and that there's also a war on ideas and there has to be a place where people can share their ideas, share their thoughts. We're all learning, we're all growing. It cannot just be one viewpoint, and that is all that's accepted. And so I think that's a great part. It's in your book, so people are looking for encouragement there. It's definitely in there and we're right there with you dealing with it and trying to think about what's coming for our children and what part that we play. But if people you know, you talked about your conversion and becoming a Christian. If people listening are Bible readers or want to read the Bible, there's a lot of information and proverbs about it. It says, if someone rolls a stone up on a hill to fall on you, it's going to fall on them. So there are natural consequences to what people do and the ways that they come at us. And it really does not affect success. And in fact, I think it often does the opposite.
John Lovell Yeah, possibly. So. You know, you said something just a couple of minutes ago and it's still been circulating in the back of my mind if like all mad at Jenny, she had so and so on and I don't like them. And how strange are we as a culture that we would so wholesale reject different ideas in different people? It's kind of like if you don't line up perfectly with my already pre-established worldview, then I am going to hate that person and hate anybody that hosted them. Jenny If you don't hate who I hate, then I'm going to hate you. That's it. And I'm kind of really. Are we subjective? I can only speak to the people that happened to already agree with me on everything. And if you deviate in any way, I'm not even going to have a conversation with you of like those folks have. Like I can't believe you had so and so. Hey, shut up. That is not a mature thought. That is not a mature adult human thing of you should be able to have emotional flexibility and dexterity so that you can actually entertain an idea and a worldview that isn't yours. If truth is really true, it should be able to stand on its own. And I have no problems speaking to a myriad of different guests that I happen to disagree with. Now I'm going to hold the line. So I can say there's all kinds of different religious viewpoints. But you know, the law of the excluded metal and identity and the law of non contradiction, we can't all be right. We're either all wrong or one's right and all the others are wrong. And so that's just the way it is. Two plus two equals four, and there's an infinite amount of other numbers and they're all wrong. Only one answers right, Because truth is an arrow is an exclusive. So you can regale me with all kinds of different theologies. But I believe Christianity is the correct worldview based on Jesus, who cut time into 20 and 23 years ago, and the whole world recognizes that. And so let's probably start with the God man Jesus. And so people will hear that and be like, Well, I don't agree with that. Like, Well, that's okay. You don't have to agree with everything I say. Let's kick around some ideas and high five and maybe we'll learn a little from each other as we go along. And I know that one fact, I don't know a whole bunch of other things and I'm still learning and growing on a journey, so chill out. Sorry, I have commandeered your podcast. I'm going to shut up and let you ask a question, but you excited my wrath and set me on a rant so it was my fault. I'm going to actually blame you. Jenny. Yeah.
Ginny Yurich I am here to excite your wrath. That's why I'm here. Well, this is a part of your book, though, so it seamlessly goes. You say the modern warrior. It's not about just physical threats, it's also about philosophies. It's about ideologies. You say to engage in the war of ideas, speak the truth, do not self-censor your speech in fear, live as if you are free and you will be so if you are interested in that, because that is a big part of our society. And as parents, we are raising our children to enter a world that is pushing towards self-censorship. And so if that's something that you need strength and if that something that you need courage, if you need a reminder, if you need direction, I think there's not much direction about that, John, because it's new. And you can find in your book The Warrior Poet way, so good to know that it's in there when you talk about strength. And there's a lot in our culture about masculinity, right? It's really not the best word culturally, masculinity. But when you talk about the word strength in here, you're talking about being strong in order to carry the burdens of others, which I thought was such a beautiful thing, a beautiful reminder, maybe even something that someone's never heard before. Can you talk about that part of why boys start off with testing their strength and why they should continue to search to be strong throughout their lives?
John Lovell Yeah, So little children start off weak. And if you mothers don't take care of those little baby boys, we die. You know, if we are completely committed to the care of someone else, we're not carrying any burdens. We are a burden now, a joyful burden. But still, you got to do everything for us. During childhood, you start growing up and now you're able to take care of some chores and stuff. And you know, you don't need your diapers changed and that's good. And so you're starting to carry some of your other stuff. Still in high school, you can take care of nearly all your stuff. You could do your own laundry, drive yourself to the store, you can cook your own food, you can read books and learn. Now you're starting to learn how to carry your own weight. And now, after your teenage years, we move into adulthood. And what should happen is, is you've gotten all your stuff so well together. You've got a healthy mind, you've got a healthy heart, you've got ambition, you're moving forward, you got a plan for your life or you're working toward one. You're not only able to carry your own burdens, but you're getting so strong and you're healthy growth that you're able to start carrying the burdens of others. Men were given strength so that we could not only carry our own stuff as if we've extended adolescence indefinitely. So we're wasting copious amounts of time in the basement of Mom's house while we're playing video games into our twenties and thirties. That's a little boy who can shave. That's pathetic. No, no, no. Men are supposed to carry the burdens of others so I can carry the responsibility of a family. And if I'm. If I'm strong, I can carry even more responsibility. Maybe I'm leading a company. Maybe I am helping serve and lead at a church. You know, it's like the strength of a man will allow him to be able to carry great weight. Now, women, you're also strong. I'd say your greatest strengths are in different areas than ours. But another attribute that women have is your beauty. Y'all, we was into following you so you have beauty to attract and men have strength to pursue you. And so that's part of our strength as men, is we have the romantic inclination that many of us haven't really grown into and started really fostering. But that's a big piece of masculinity, a massive piece you know, of. I've got a friend who leads a church out in Washington who in their mantra is Slay the dragon. When the girl. And I'm like, That pretty much sums it all up right. Slay the dragon and it's the gospel, right? But we're the bride of Christ. And so we are the girl in that narrative and blessed to be so. So anyway, men are given strength to be able to pursue you forever. And I think that's a really cool gig. But a lot of us have. We fall into these little boxes not recognizing. Full vibrancy of masculinity, and then we don't recognize what strength really is. Strength isn't just physical strength. People will default toward thinking. Strength is is just what they happen to be strong yet. But now there is physical strength and that's important. Be a good physical protector of your harder to kill and you're generally more useful right when you are physically strong. But let's be mentally strong. Crack a book and put down your stupid phone. Learn something. Become intellectually sharp so you can be able to combat stupid lofty arguments which set themselves up against the knowledge of God. They can be wise and how to steward your relationships and then make a killing business. Be mentally strong, be emotionally strong If someone cuts you off in traffic and that just ruins your day, you are emotionally weak. Your temper should be under wraps. You should be emotionally able to manage and handle the difficulties in the messiness of relationships and how taxing that can be more important than the physical, the emotional and the mental is the spiritual. And when I say that is a weak man, almost always I mean their character or socks, that somebody that doesn't have real convictions, they're like our politicians. They'll change what they believe on the polls. And you never really know what they believe except they want more power and more money. They are spineless, weak people that will stab you in the back and run you over to get ahead. They may have plenty ambition and lots of strengths like a villain might, but morally weak people will stab their best friends. They will cheat on their spouses, they will lie to your face. Those are morally weak people and we need to be strong in all areas, not just one or two.
Ginny Yurich Yeah, and that's what you get out of the book, that the strength comes in many different facets. And really when we I mean, that's what I talk about, what taking kids outside is that it helps their whole being. It helps them emotionally and it helps them with their social skills and all of these different things. And so that's what we're looking at. We're looking at raising whole kids. We're looking at being whole people in our marriages. So if people are interested, there's a lot of marriage advice in here, a lot of parenting advice. And when you talk about strength in strongman, you know, we kind of have these ideas of huge muscles and the veins popping. And you have this great story in here about being strong, but sort of also unassuming. And you talk about the wrestling. There's so many good stories in here. That was one of my favorite ones, though, was your high school story and you were a wrestler. It was a big part of your childhood, and I really have so many notes here. Now. I'm confused. I can't even find it. What? The guy's name was the teacher. He was like the Spanish teacher.
John Lovell Yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a I was a pretty darn good fighter, Mr. Lopez. You know, you guys as a pretty good fighter in high school, I was known by my high school as, like, the school's wrestler when I was near graduation. That was my identity was wrapped up in it. So I was a handful. Even if you outweighed me, you are stronger than me. I could probably still crush you. Mr. Lopez was kind of a portly, middle aged man who joined us for wrestling practice one day, and I took one look at him like, I mean, I could I could, even as a teenager for wrestling didn't matter if you could be a grown man, I'm going to thrash you. This guy beat the crap out of me, beat the crap out of me. I find out later he's got so many black belts and all these different things and I didn't know, but he was just so smooth and fast for a while. I didn't understand why nothing was working. It's like I had it entered into this separate dimension where all of a sudden I couldn't do anything. And so I've never really recovered from that. But the point of that chapter is, is I thought I was just bad news. I thought, man, I am something to be feared. And I learned that there's always somebody out there that can kick your teeth in. There's always someone better than you and whatever you think, you're awesome. And I think the Lord sent him to me to teach me humility. And I recognized that my lack of humility was a really it was a deeper weakness than I even knew. And it really that humility that I gained propelled me to be far better than I would have if I hadn't have got my clock cleaned.
Ginny Yurich And so it's a funny it's a funny story in the book. It's funny. I mean, it's funny parts. I mean, the way that you write, like you said, he absolutely destroyed me and wasn't even fazed, leaving me panting on the mat, soaking in the sweat of my own embarrassment and defeat. And you said he just talked through the whole thing. He did like it was no big deal, is like he's not even putting on much effort.
John Lovell He didn't know that as he was just flippantly chatting along that I was in the battle of my life. My very identity hung in the balance. And he's talking about snacks, snacks or something after that for wrestling practice. Like, I think I need to go pick up my dry cleaning and say that I have no idea what he talked about. I was too busy battling for my fragile soul in the moment.
Ginny Yurich But it's it's good information. A man who is unpredictable almost always has the upper hand. Don't stand out. Just really interesting. You even talk about the way that you dress, which is very plain. I kind of noticed that. And you talked about it in the book. So it's it's interesting. So there's a lot in here that's practical that people could apply immediately humility, but also just safety and the way that we go about in the world. I read up a guy on our podcast back at the beginning of the year who talks about having fun. He's like a Ph.D. and that's his thing is fun. And he studied all about it, and he talked about something that I'd never heard before. And then it was in your book. He talked about Memento Mori, which is a reminder basically to live to your fullest. And his was a voicemail his his brother passed away suddenly. And so his memento mori was this last voicemail from his brother. And whenever he didn't feel like investing in relationship or going to do something, he would listen to that and it would push him on. And that's been something that's been really impactful for me, just learning about that and thinking about how we don't ever regret when we put in the effort for relationship or experience or adventure, that type of thing. But sometimes it's hard to get over the hump. You're tired, you're overwhelmed, and you talk about the memento mori in this book, but then you also talk about the death letter, which I guess if you're not in the military, you wouldn't. Maybe you would. I didn't know about it. It makes sense. But it was a really big challenge to think about what we want to leave behind and what's important. So could you tell us about that process and what it's done for you to write that death letter?
John Lovell Sure. Memento Mori. You know, the Stoics really grabbed onto that, recognizing that, hey, we're a fleeting breath. Moses would talk about this. I think it's in Psalm 94, throughout the Psalms of Hey, teach us to number our days. Oh, Lord. I just read this morning I was reading the final, like, five psalms and man is just but a breath or here today and gone tomorrow. And so I think it's absolutely critical that we live in such a way that the end of life is in mind so that we can reverse engineer and focus on what is the most important. Otherwise, our schedules will naturally fill out with a million different tasks that all seem critically important. But if you could take a deep breath and calm your anxious, worrying heart, you'd recognize none of this stuff. Oh, like 98%. The stuff it's not worth fretting about. Stop worrying. Martha, Martha, Martha. Jesus said You're worried about so many things, but only one is really important. And Jesus is whispering, Hey, number your days. Know what is important. Know what's right in front of you. Calm down. Anxious woman and anxious man. And so not only does thinking about, Hey, how do I die? Well, it guarantees that you're able to live well, but you can also be freed from so much of the fear and crippling anxiety that people carry around in their chest every single day and not do anything about it. You've got to do something about that. It's killing you. So I urge people toward that.
Ginny Yurich Yeah, I didn't I just read the book just last weekend, so I haven't done it yet, but it's something I'm mulling over. You know, a death letter challenges you to be better now, writing the last things you would ever say to all the people you love is something that will rock you to your core. You know, certainly deep thoughts of what you want to impart. And I love it ever since. It actually is the opening verse in my 1000 hours outside book because it says, Teach us the number of days that we're making in a heart of wisdom. And I think it's so important to know that you don't have unlimited time. John says Time is your most valuable resource, but also your most vulnerable, and that's the truth. So yeah, to write a death letter just to help you now and just to help you really be concise on probably what you want to pass down, write what you want to leave to your loved ones and was a good idea. Each chapter ends with a practicum, so steps to actually do, and that was definitely one of them. So talk to us about these books that you read. You know, it's interesting to think of a couple. It really is. I can't it's hard to even picture like, you know, the college party or to this warrior poet. You've had a lot of influences along the way. Who are some of your favorite authors? Give us some ideas of what we should be reading.
John Lovell Yeah. For me, you know, some people will roll their eyes off like, God, get off the Jesus thing. I'm like, No, bro, seriously, this is the honest answer. And that's the Bible was. Really the book I went to at I had a pretty violent conversion in 2001 and at that time I'm like, Oh, I think I need a Bible now. And so I got saved. I immediately started reading the Bible and I just read it cover to cover, flipped it over, did it again and again and again. But everything for me, it's like the Holy Spirit flipped on a switch where a guy who is a crappy student always all of a sudden loved learning. And it wasn't just Bible, it was across the board. I love of learning. And then just all of the sudden I wanted to read, I wanted to know everything. And so it was, I think, a spiritual gift that was given to me at the moment of salvation. And that's the gift of knowledge, which is a requirement for those who have the gift of teaching, and that's mine as gift of teaching. And so I just started reading and consuming everything from philosophical works and mostly theological. I would get way into history, especially church history, for a very long time. I like Christian worldview and apologetics kind of stuff as well. The natural sciences. I have read some science textbooks since, but of more of the intelligent design perspective, because typically we're taught a secular view only of the natural sciences, which is a shame because we have so many titans in academia, the represented intelligent design worldview, but our public and even our private schools don't even know these guys exist. And the arguments are amazing. And so I've dabbled in some of that. And so I think you asked for authors and actually gave categories, but I felt like I had to launch into the categories first and talk about that. I have a reading list of all kinds of stuff on the like an Amazon link. Sorry.
Ginny Yurich But do you share that somewhere? Is that some are people?
John Lovell Yeah yeah, yeah. It if you go to my YouTube videos and you scroll down you can almost always find that. And here I can. Oh, there it is. I just sent it to you in our little chat. There's the, there's the reading list and I've just packed all kinds of stuff in there too. Hey, how do you become a better defender and protector? War history stuff as well? So I pack a whole lot of different stuff. And hey, by the way, don't underestimate the importance of reading fiction. I thought fiction was kind of a waste of time. I thought, No, no, no, give me the nonfiction stuff. You know, Jenny, you're your book. And my book would be in the nonfiction category. And then give me the history, Gimme facts. I'm like, No, no, no, You have no idea. Yeah, get our books and do that stuff. But you have no idea how important the fiction stuff is, especially for an adult. Yes, for a child, but also an adult in that it turns on our creative light bulbs. It also allows certain parts of our brain to rest, dormant parts of our brain that we really need to come alive. And it has helped me recharge. It's helped with idea generation. So many times when I'm reading fiction, good work solutions come to me, that sort of stuff out. There's something that's happening there that's so important. Einstein would say that the source of genius is creativity in fiction allows all your the creative parts of your brain to fire on in a way that sitting back and watching movies doesn't do it, doesn't do it scrolling. Social media destroys it. But reading good fiction that moves the soul and moves the heart, it's really, really important. So don't discount that stuff.
Ginny Yurich I love a good fiction. I read a book this year called The Great Alone. That was my favorite one that I read so far this year about family that moves to Alaska is so good and it sticks with you. Those characters and the stories, they stick with you and then you read a lot of fiction to your kids. You talked about the Green Ember books in there, which is cool. We just actually went down and saw Sam Smith. Yes, I think a week or two ago we went down to West Virginia, did some whitewater rafting and got to have dinner with them, which was so awesome. So what's your rhythm for reading with your kids?
John Lovell Sure. So Sam was sending me text message pictures of you guys, almost like he's shaming me in to visit because I really, really like Steve Smith. And we've only had that. We've barely spent any time together at breakfast after a homeschool conference together and really loved it. My young or my oldest son wants to be a writer, and so he sat right next to him and he flips open his tablet at the appropriate time and starts asking them questions. And I could tell that Steve Smith just thought that was the cutest thing. And he was so gracious and so patient, so big fan of Sam for sure.
Ginny Yurich Let's camp here for one minute because his books are phenomenal and he's so approachable. So when I had him on, he's been on our podcast twice, and the first time I had my son and his friend join because they're a huge fan and they got to ask questions in Sam, you know, have these kids on. He was so engaging with them and talked with them and he learned their names and that's just the kind of guy he that's awesome. And he came out a second time because he wrote a book with his son, Josiah, who was a teenager. And so that's awesome. That's a really inspiring thing, I think, for Young. Author to see that this is something that you can do even when you're still a kid, you can still write books. That's that Jack Zulu series. And then we went down to West Virginia. It was totally last minute, John. It was like, we're coming tomorrow and can we take you out to dinner basically, or something? And we're going to be there for a day and a half. And he had our whole family over to dinner, and there's a lot of us. We even have an extra kid with us at the moment. It's eight of us and just has over dinner last minute. So those books, the Green Ember series, are phenomenal books to read with your family and you talk about them. I took a picture of it in here and sent it to him thinking I was real cool, Like I was going to let him know, Look, I found your book is written in your book series is in this warrior poet way. And he already knew. So I was like, okay.
John Lovell Oh, God. Sorry. So here it will let me get them back for you. I did not like when I first started reading the Green Amber Series to my boys. I did not like it right off the rip. The very first one, I was probably about a third or maybe even halfway through the first book before I really started to like it. Because pick he's kind of the main figure and protagonist, but he's kind of this brat and, I don't know, underdeveloped in some ways. And it looks like Heather, his older sister Rabbit, she is all things great and wonderful. And I'm like, Oh, great. The fatally flawed male and the perfect, vibrant female looks like every freaking show and movie that is ever produced for the last two decades. And I'm like, Oh, feminism is everywhere and destroys everything. But, you know, like, I don't have a problem with the, you know, a strong female, but I'm like, Why are all the women always stronger than the males? So boring and predictable and stupid and like, see some high heeled chick in black leather kicks some £250 male across a room. And these are action hero movies. I'm like, Oh, give me a break. So anyway, but you know, I love Green Ember because I kind of wrote it off at first, and then by the end of the first book, I'm like, Oh, this thing is great. And then books, you know, like books two and three and four, like I'm reading, trying to keep my voice from cracking and the whole family tears going down our cheeks. And so we adore the Green Ember series. We read most of the great illustrated classics to the boys when they were younger. That's where we started. I was holding the Chronicles of Narnia off until they were old enough to really understand it and remember it. And so I read them seven of the all seven of those books, and we had a special time, like when we read with The Magician's Nephew, we had to put on magic rings to go into our inner attic closet, and that's where we do it. And so we were kind of acting out what was happening in the book and stuff. And so and the Blind Witch and the Wardrobe, we read In the Attic Closet under Candlelight. And so we're all packed in there and reading it. And so we had a lot of fun with those dudes. Make sure you read your kids, even if it's just one chapter every single night. Make sure you're doing that. Even if they're older, screw it. They may not like it at first, but get into it and they'll get into it too, even if they lie to you at first. But make sure you do the voices. I do the voices. My wife does the sound effects. And so when I'm reading, I'm kind of like and then so and so walked into the room, open the creaky door, and then the book won't say this, but I like and it sounded like this and I'll look at my wife and she'll be like, or the whole family gets involved. And so it's a pretty it's precious fun. Now we're reading The Rangers Apprentice, and that's a really long book series. We're on book three and the boys are really liking it. Other stuff we've read to them, we've read Shakespeare, some Shakespearean stories that were illustrated, and they were written more in common language, but enough of the language there so that you could get some of the beauty. I've seen Shakespeare done extremely bad and extremely well, so you got to get that. We've also read the Greek myths to them, and I don't know a host of other stuff. If you stacked them all up, they'd be as tall as my nine year old, I'm sure.
Ginny Yurich Well, that's an interesting thing because your boys are still young. So to say that you've gone through The Chronicles of Narnia, the Green, Amber Series, all of these different things, the little by little, it adds up to be a lot. But it does.
John Lovell And that's it. I mean, some nights we'll just do one or two chapters. If my kids are slow doing their chores of getting ready for bed. Hey, boys, it's 845. Y'all missed it. You needed to be butts in seat at 830. So that cuts in every time we do one chapter. That's it or no? No chapter. She had bad attitudes today of like or I'm just working or something like that. So reading is so highly regarded in our house. Hold that it would be a punishment to them to not read. Then so then when we're done with me reading to them and they go upstairs, then they, they have one question of like, Hey, how many chapters? They want to know how many chapters of their own books can they read before it's bedtime. And so if we say three chapters, they'll be like, Awesome. But if we say four, we're more parents of the year. Reading is extremely highly regarded in our household because we have cultivated a love of it.
Ginny Yurich Mm hmm. So, yeah, Mackenzie's got that read aloud. Revival in her book is called Read Aloud Family, and she talks in there about how you continue to read out loud, even after they can read themselves, which is something that I didn't realize. And so it's such an important thing that you have these adventures together.
John Lovell That's.
Ginny Yurich Bonded through those characters, things you can talk about. That's very cool. I mean, there's really a lot in this book, John, if we're talking about marriage and we're talking about teaching our kids to read, we're talking about childhood and teaching our kids a love of reading. And I mean, there's so much in here. What about courage? Well, I think as a society, we just are risk averse and we love our comforts. And you say when a man fears discomfort, danger is not far off. How do we deal with our insecurities and in our cowardice?
John Lovell Yeah, in ways that people do not understand. Folks listening and your fears and your anxieties and your comforts are killing you. They are strangling your soul. You are half asleep at the wheel of life, and you've absolutely got to do something about it. Fear, something that can destroy all your relationships, make you neurotic and make you worry so much that you're never really enjoying life. Your joy is being robbed and it's also faithlessness and God. It is a sin. It is wrong and it's a poison. It's a bitter root. And so oftentimes when we find resistance in something or apathy, we don't want to do something or get around to it, or I don't want to have that conversation or I don't want to cut out and try something new. Those fears are what is holding us back from actual growth. If you don't watch it like we could go years without actually growing. I've discovered that just because you're getting older doesn't mean you're growing. You find so many just angry, bitter, you know, curmudgeons yelling at the kids in the neighborhood to just get off their lawn. That's a metaphor right there for anybody that as you get older, you get more bitter, you get snappier, you're back biting your spouse more, you're easier to set off. It's like everyone has to walk on eggshells around you, and yet you're getting worse over time. Not that aging doesn't mean you get better. Aging doesn't mean you get wiser. Aging doesn't mean that you get more courageous. In fact, the opposite seems to happen often times. And so we have to face our fears. And there's a whole lot of ways that we can go about that that I detail in the book. But for now, just saying hate your fears are killing you and you are giving yourself over to them. In many ways. You have to do the hard work of confronting them. And you got to start now.
Ginny Yurich Mm hmm. Yeah. And then the book talks about self-sufficiency, which you say crazy is in the eye of the beholder. So if people are interested in just some simple ways to start by preparing their families so that you don't have to be paranoid, there's great ideas about that in the book, too. So it just covers just such a large gamut of topics and pertinent things in our life. For the jump ball, the huge jump off ends, which there's so many of them. In fact, me came down to Florida and met you then. It was like our friends who have older kids, older sons, they were so excited that everyone's getting pictures. What's your day to day like? What's this Warrior Poets Society like building this empire? What's your sort of day to day life like?
John Lovell Oh, yeah. Well, you say all that stuff like I'm somebody special. Everyone will be a little bit let down like a man. I'm just such a dude. That's like the people who know me. I'm just a normal guy going through life. Well, I feel that way anyway. I've got some weird eccentricities about me, but today I'm working from home of an office that I visit a few times a week. But today I'm working from home. And so when I go out of my little studio here, I'll be on my farm. I do some farm chores, normally work a full day, grinding it out when I get home. Usually I want to hug kids, put down my bag and then just decompress. So kinda spend about 2 minutes catching up with the family. And then I want to just decompress and go about my own stuff. Just be left alone for about 1520 minutes and then I'm able to rejoin the family and then I'm really happy. And if I don't get that, I have problems. Jumping from the box of work to box of family, and I just can't emotionally transition fast enough. A lot of women out there will be real surprised that your husband wanted the exact same thing. Leave him alone for about 1020 minutes and he'll come back to you after that. Like totally jazzed up. Don't let him go play video games for, you know, 10 hours or something stupid that little boys do. But you get you get the idea, so on. But then we hang out as a family and we do something together. I oftentimes work out in the mornings different stuff, whether it's ministry or meeting up with friends falls, and sometimes my wife and I are doing date nights. We try to do this once a week. But oftentimes, if we're traveling together, we kind of are dating as we go stuff. And so, yeah, that's about it. Nothing. Nothing too sexy in there, Right?
Ginny Yurich That's interesting, though. I mean, you're finding balance somehow. I mean, you have and this is a massive company that you have. You have. If you go on the website, which the website is really cool. I really like the website. You got products that you sell, that you sell, you've got all of this content that you're putting out and the Warrior Poets Supply, COCOM. That's where you can find like all the trainings and all the different products. Like Josh has got a Warrior Poets shirt and he got it, I don't know, for Father's Day or something, but you got all that stuff. And so it's interesting to see that you have found balance. And balance is also a topic in the book because you're talking about the balance between being dangerous and good and the balance between strong but also sensitive in the right situations. And so you're striking a balance with your parenting and with your marriage and with running a business. And the balance piece comes up when you were talking about wrestling and at one point you kind of took it too far. You're like sleeping in the air conditioning and trying to lose weight. I think the interesting part, too, because you talked about how you can be a B student. Like, sometimes you can let things go. It was like this topic of balance in it related to perfectionism.
John Lovell Yeah. So a man is made successful and you could absolutely say this to women as well, but 96% of my following is male. So typically I just say men, if that offends anyone, get stronger feelings. So a man is successful based on two things. One is what are the priorities you set and to how well do you manage between those priorities? It is an absolute ridiculous fallacy to think that you can give 100% everything. You just can't. Everything is a bit of a give and take. I recognized this when I was early married, so we'd only been married a couple of years and I was engaged in ministry through our church. I was working a full time job running a company that I created and I was a full time college student as well and newly married. So I'm stewarding all of that and I was making straight A's in college. However, I was getting a business degree. I knew there was no IM cats and no bar waiting on the other side and I wasn't going for a master's. And so I'm like, I'm working hard to get all A's here because you're supposed to get all A's, but it's taken a toll on I'm supposed to be earning to support a family here and and I don't want to stop serving at church. And man, I got to definitely pour into my young marriage. I'm trying to make flourish. And our first two years of marriage was hard, too. So I'm having to really figure that out. We had to really figure some stuff out, both pretty strong personalities. And ultimately, if if something doesn't give, you just bash against each other and you destroy your your marriage and each other. So we had to grow and change. And year three became a really good part of marriage. And then year four and five and we're six years in and our marriage is amazing. But I'm just saying I realized my life was not balanced properly. And so I made a new goal. I want all B's, not all A's. I want all B's in my college courses. And that allowed me to have a little bit more focus on work and, you know, the other priorities. And so that was strange to me because I was taught the opposite thing and the opposite thing was wrong for me in that season. They may be right for your kid who doesn't have a full time job or a wife, you know, I'm like, Well, you don't get anything else going on. Do well in school or you don't work for somebody else. You tried that well, but for me, I needed to rebalance.
Ginny Yurich I stopped provoking. I've never heard anyone say that. Aim for all B's, aim for imperfection at certain points because it helps you maintain balance. I hope that people can see through this conversation, John, that this book is so comprehensive. And so if you're looking for inspiration to be more courageous, if you're looking for someone to give you a little bit of guide with marriage, with parenting, with self sufficiency, with freedom loving, with homeschool is in there. There's so much in here that someone could get out of this book. So like I said, we have loved it. Josh is listening to it on Audible on the audio. Book. I've got my own copy here and we're starting to give them out because they're just great gifts and great for the men in your life, the the young men in your life that are launching into the world. And so people can find them. And probably anywhere books are sold, I'm imagining. But also the warrior poet Wacom and check out your website too. John We always end our podcast with the same question. You talk a lot about your childhood in this book, so this is a cool question to go along with the book as well. But what's a favorite memory from your childhood that was outside?
John Lovell By the way, I just love your movement. Long before we met you. My wife was following you, and so I started seeing your stickers and stuff everywhere and your shirts appear in my house. And so just know you're doing a great work and we really appreciate you and your community. You're on to something that's so important and has been helpful for us on our journey to even just the title The Thousand Hours Outside. It beckoned us to, yeah, we should do that and immediately of like we should spend more time outside. Absolutely. And so we become better at that because you're out there. So thank you for that. You know, I grew up in the woods on the lake, and so it's not a specific memory. It's more of a kaleidoscope of the same kind of memory. And that's I just remember myself climbing trees. One is there was this big tree that overlooked cove, and me and my neighbors were climbing way high up in this tree overlooking the lake. In the song Red Hot Chili Peppers under the bridge had come out. And it's not a very wholesome song, but we were singing that acapella as a group, but just a little ragtag, you know, muskrat sandlot kind of character kids as we climbed high up in this tree. And we're just I don't ever want to feel, you know, just going off. And so that's a pretty sweet memory. I've never shared that story, so that's good.
Ginny Yurich I love it. Well, John, congrats on your book. It's fantastic. I already saw some of the reviews online and people are just can't put it down. It's a total page turner. And I know that the impact is going to go far and wide and people can get all sorts of content. That's a cool thing. It doesn't have to stop the book. You have so much to offer, so really appreciate it, John, and I'm looking forward to hanging out with Rebecca in a couple of months.
John Lovell Yeah, Yeah. I'm jealous. I won't be able to hang out with you gals at that event. I don't think I'm going to that, but hopefully we'll catch you at some other homeschool conferences soon. We got a few lined up, so that's awesome. You have given me the greatest book review, so I've done a good bit of book reviews, but people are asking about like all kinds of different subjects. But you were you were more excited about the book than anybody else seem to be just overtly. And so thank you so much. Thank you so, so much.
Ginny Yurich Oh, it's a phenomenal book, John. And I think it fills a need for I really think it's going to be extremely impactful for like 15 to 23. Yeah. You know, and it's something like as a parent, you're like, how can I impart all of these topics? And there's so many of them how to be a better man, how to fit into society, you know, how to fight for freedom, and how can I impart all of this that I want to pass into my kids? And then you packaged it into a book. It's perfect. Yeah. So we're thrilled about it and excited to be giving a bunch of copies away and them to hit home run with it. John So thank you, sir.
John Lovell All right. Thanks, Ginny. See?
