Understanding the Great Mystery of How Children Develop All On Their Own
I read all the parenting books. I babysat and worked in the church nursery when I was a teenager. Heck, I used to be a kid myself. But as it turns out, I actually had no idea what parenthood would really be like. Pregnancy can be a time of growth and preparation with ample time for reading and researching, but when that baby arrives the roller coaster begins, and it may be years before the ride starts to slow down. During the years when children are small and growing rapidly it can be hard to sort out all of the changes.
The thing about my children that has left me slack-jawed the most is how much they develop on their own accord. Certainly we are all aware that we don't need to give any sort of crawling or walking lessons. Toddlers don't need formal language lessons as they learn to master an entirely new language solely through conversation. Did you know this rapid and deeply effective learning can continue throughout childhood (and even throughout life)?
Let me tell you a story about our oldest son. We didn't start any formal reading lessons with him until he was seven. By all current standards, this is a late start but our methodology was based on some sound principles. This approach worked and within a few short months of 15 minute reading lessons, he was reading chapter books and he hasn't stopped reading since. He takes a book with him wherever we go.
Not long after learning to read we were at a nature center several states away. Before heading out on our hike, one of the nature center employees told us to pay close attention when we were near the main building because they had spotted a certain type of snake there several times over the past week or so. Personally, I'd never even heard of the type of snake she mentioned and within a few minutes had completely lost the name of it altogether. But my son, who was just months into reading, began to spout off all sorts of facts about this snake. He knew where they were native to, what they looked like, how long they grew, the types of things they ate, and so on.
I was astonished. And I was humbled. As adults, it feels good to take credit for our kid's learning but the thing I have learned most about learning is that it seems to happen best when it happens away from my control. Yes, kids can and do learn in a classroom environment. Yes, our world is full of incredible teachers (including parents) but the best teacher it seems, is our own personal feedback loop.
Each of us are drawn to learn. The array of learning opportunities are as vast as the widest ocean. And yet, our most common approach is to take children and choose the small sliver of the things they will learn. But a child who is interested in geology let's say, will learn a breadth and depth of interdisciplinary knowledge as he or she searches out all the interesting things that pertain to the earth's physical structure and substance. Any subject we are drawn to will be filled with broad amounts of information. Take fishing, farm animals, or flowers for instance. There are books upon books, resources upon resources, and experiences upon experiences that could easily help a child become an expert in his or her own field. In doing so the learning is widespread and comprehensive.
When I was a kid my mom would always quiz me about the flower names. It was something she was interested in and something she'd had lots of hands-on experience with. The problem was that I wasn't interested so I found I could only retain three names: marigold, tulip and sunflower. Beyond those three I was totally lost. They all looked similar to me. But this past spring I've had a little more space in my life to grow a few different types of flowers from seed. As they poked through the dirt I noticed that the leaves of each type of plant have a slightly different shape. I've since learned that the leaf shape specifically helps each plant to grow in the ways that it needs. And low and behold, I now know more than three flower names. My knowledge base is slowly growing but the things I have learned over the past few months are now a part of me. I won't forget them. There is something to be said about learning certain things when our interest is peaked. There is something more to be said about letting that process unfold on its own.
Childhood development stages are important here. Specific individual nature interests start to show up between the ages of six and eight (sometimes even a little earlier). It's especially noticeable for kids who have had an ample amount of time outside. Maybe it's fishing or maybe it's reptiles but no matter the interest, if we help to source our children with experiences and with solid reading materials we are providing them with some of the most valuable learning opportunities they might ever have.
When we forget to trust this process and start to take on too much of the bulk of the learning process we need only to think back to those early childhood years when learning happened effortlessly and efficiently. The child knows the next small step needed and then practices endlessly until mastery occurs. The deep mystery of the feedback loop is that the child is the only one who really knows how much practice is needed and then the child knows what piece of the puzzle comes next. As parents, caregivers, and teachers we can take some educated guesses and implement some grand teaching techniques, but ultimately the small child exhibits profound proficiency in the learning process.
Nature provides a sensory rich classroom for our kids. It offers endless learning potential. It is worth our time when our kids are young to let them seek out their individual interests. As they grow older we can find opportunities for them to become masters in their own fields, knowing that the multi-disciplinary knowledge attained through the personal feedback loop is significant and it is lasting.
