Surviving Early Childhood Without Losing Your Sanity

Young children have mega-important work to do. Our work as adults, which is also important, involves provision, household management, and the delicate art of building a family. The work of a child is to develop who they are in every facet of their life. Some might argue there is no more important work than this.

During early childhood, the brain will increase in size to 80% of its adult weight. At the same time, the number of synapses will decrease dramatically. Synaptic pruning is an extremely important part of childhood development because it affects how efficient our brain is long-term. 

It's easy to see children as a never ending ball of energy (and even annoyance). It's also easy to forget that the work they need to do is critical and crucial, even though it doesn't pay the bills. 

Children are biologically driven to develop and they need the right input in order to do so. Much of what we may experience as frustration with small children is simply their burning drive and desire for the sensory input they need.

Research continues to show that children need substantial amounts of quality time in nature. They need to explore their environment. They need to touch and to feel and to taste and to smell. They need to dream, imagine and experience. The work of pruning synapses and developing the different senses is significant work.

​Consider a young child on a grocery shopping trip. The job of the parent is to check off the list of items and to be efficient. The job of the child is personal growth, even when inconvenient. Part of our angst as parents arises when we forget or try and ignore the biological drive children have to dawdle and observe, to touch and feel. 

Screens are a short-term solution that help us complete our adult work in peace in quiet. In the long-term, screens rob children of time and experience. Screens take from children the sensory input they desperately need for growth. In small amounts, this may not be damaging. But in large quantities, when screens take away hands-on, real-life experiences from kids, we may find that they act out in different ways. They are clamoring for the environments they need for growth. The trance of the screen provides adults with some moments of reprieve and children with some entertainment but the trance does not provide any feedback loops for synaptic pruning and sensory development. 

How do we survive early childhood without excessive screen use and without screaming? We remember that children are accomplishing the paramount task of becoming themselves and we structure their early childhood around that goal as much as possible. This will look different in every family but the intention is the same. Young children, in the right environments and given the right sensory input, are busy and contemplative. They give parents and caregivers some much needed moments of reprieve, quiet, and restoration as they go about their important work of discovering the world and discovering themselves. 

I have photo after photo of all five of our children actively engaged in nature. We can go entire days without sibling squabbles and nagging given the right environment. 

Our challenge at 1000 Hours Outside is to spend 1000 hours outside in a calendar year. This simple goal will significantly cut down on screen usage and screaming in your home. When we add nature immersion into childhood we start to run out of time for screens! Nature time also significantly addresses the issue of stress during childhood, for children and adults alike. I see article after article addressing parents who want to yell less. I find this is less of a self-control issue and more of an environment issue. When we consider the motivations of young children, an intense drive for growth, we realize that much of our angst can be alleviated by the way we structure childhood.

If 1000 Hours Outside in a calendar year seems too lofty, then pick a smaller goal. We cannot let this critical component of childhood development be left to chance and to the scraps of time in our calendars. Many of our frustrations as parents arise simply from denying our kids the opportunities they desperately need, albeit unintentionally. The cherry on top is that nature time is good for adults as well so there really are no downsides here.

The simple act of building nature time into the lives of our children will radically change the dynamics of the family for the better! So call up some friends and head to a park. Invite some neighborhood kids over to play in the backyard. Make a small investment into some loose parts like a mud kitchen or a sandbox. Most importantly, remember that all children are biologically driven to discover and to learn.