Boost Emotional Intelligence (EQ) with Nature Play!
Socialization. It is a key goal of childhood. We want our children to be able to relate well with others since life is largely about relationships. There is a common misconception that the act of sending children to school for 13 years is a simple answer to this problem. What no one stops to think, however, is that we all knew children who spent years in school and still didn’t know how to relate to others. Maybe I’m one of them? The point is this: Simply being around other kids doesn’t do automatically equate to a child who understands the ins and outs of social cues. So how as parents can we give our children a leg up when it comes emotional intelligence? Giving them uninterrupted time to play outside with friends will give them a significant social advantage. Here are some reasons why free play outside contributes greatly to socialization skills.
When children play together apart from adults they learn how to make their own decisions and they also learn how their decisions affect others. The main goal of free play with friends is keeping all players engaged. This is an incredible goal and when children learn to do it well it is an accomplishment to be celebrated. Free play outside requires cooperation as well as collaboration, as children sort through ideas and through resources. To keep all participants involved children must control their emotions and impulses. How often as an adult have you sat through a conversation or a presentation that quickly lost your interest? A child who can walk to the fine line of helping another person remain interested in a relationship or activity, while simultaneously keeping themselves interested as well, is a child who has an incredible skill set.
Think back to games of pick-up sports you may have played as a child. These have largely been lost over the last several decades. What types of skills are gained while constructing a game of kickball or baseball in the backyard? In our neighborhood growing up there was a small baseball field that was almost always empty. Occasionally I would walk there with a few neighborhood kids or with just my two younger brothers. In every game we played we had to adapt rules and negotiate. We made something out of nothing. We had to compromise and use our imaginations. How do you play baseball with three people? Four? Six? Each time it was a little bit different. As parents, we cannot underestimate the depth and importance of these discussions and interactions for children.
I read recently that when kids are playing in the woods it can take up to 45 minutes create a play scheme. Everything is make believe and at each decision there has to be agreement. A child has to have enough assertiveness to maintain their own engagement but not too much to where they turn someone else off. Can you see the parallels for life? Can you see how beginning to master these skills as a child would offer huge pay-offs in adulthood? It is so easy to discount free play as a frivolous pastime. I know I’ve done it. I’ve been dazzled by the latest and greatest programs children and have opted many times for something structured, forgetting how much the simple activities offer. But every time I sit a little ways back and observe my children at play I am reminded of the depth of their interactions and I know that these experiences are greatly contributing to their social skills.
